Advice on sleeping arrangements with my husband?
Question by BabyGaga: Advice on sleeping arrangements with my husband?
My husband and I recently got married Jan3rd, however we have stayed with each other off and on, for years.While staying with him, we always have had seperate rooms, for the simple fact he snores soooo loud that it interrupts my sleep.If I dont get enough sleep I become a b i t c h.Now that we are married, I feel more than obligated to sleep in the same room and bed as him but I cant.I never get enough rest. He doesnt complain, but I feel its my wifely duty to sleep with my hubby. Is it normal to not sleep in the same bed as you mate, do any of you have this issue? What can I do to rectify this problem? We have tried several remedies for the snoring, and nothing works..I just dont want us to be divided.Help
Best answer:
Answer by oneshotradr
have you tried ear plugs
Sleep in another room until you get his problem fixed. And don’t believe nothing works. There are thousands od snoring remedies. Including surgery.
never heard of a snoring husband
A doctor should check your husband. The snoring is not good for him either.
Sometimes I have sleep problems and fall asleep with the TV and he wants quiet. We just put a blanket over each other and know we are there.
my husband snores too. the trick is to fall asleep first. and if i don’t – i kick him in the shins if he snores – he changes position to lie on the side and stops snoring for a while. people do not snore when they re on the side.
ps. and u do not need to kick him that he gets bruses on his shins – just a slight kick, gentle and loving
its not normal for a married couple to sleep in separate beds. snoring is common and many relationships are negatively affected by that. you should ask him to see a doctor and get him a sleeping aid, he’s lacking oxygen.
Stay with him in the bed until he falls asleep. Then move to another room for rest and sound sleep.
Your right
This snoring problem is cancer on the marriage. If any part of a marriage is a duty, it will spread to resentment, expand into other areas, and it will eventually kill it.
If he doesn’t share your concern, that’s a HUGE problem – not just for you but for him as well.
I use to snore. I wanted to quit so I learned to sleep on my back WITH A PEANUT PILLOW that really clears the airway. It was very hard to learn to sleep like this. It was so hard that my body compromised. I.E. I stopped snoring because I didn’t want to sleep on a peanut pillow.
I betcha I will get massive thumbs down for this since married couples are expected to sleep in the same bed each night but my husband sleeps in a separate room than me *GASP* and it has not negatively affected us in any way. We still cuddle and make love, we do not feel a disconnect from not sleeping in the same bed. For us this arrangement works because with his job he is out of town a couple nights a week, and he is always on a weird schedule so when me and my son are sound asleep my DH is jet lagged and wide awake from having just gotten back from the cayman islands or Jamaica etc… even if he just went to canada he is still coming and going at odd time so having him in and out of the bedroom would only wake me up and I need my sleep so I can get up and take care of our baby and also our home. So if sleeping in separate rooms works for you than don’t let others tell you that it is not ok. If you and your mate feel like it is a good sleeping fit for you than by all means do what works for your marriage.
This is such an important question – one that millions of couples struggle with every single night.
I’ve been there myself & it truly sucks.
Seriously – I thought I would lose my mind it was so bad.
First off, you DESERVE to get a decent night’s sleep.
This is a basic necessity.
I hope your husband treats this situation with the appropriate kind of commitment and urgency?
(If not, gently explain to him how important fixing this problem is to you and offer a few suggestions to try immediatly.)
Snoring can be caused by SO many things.
1) Dehydration (remind him to drink plenty of fluids before bed – especially after drinking alcohol)
2) Being overweight
3) Sleep Apnea
4) Deviated Septum
5) Restless Sleep (from being exhausted)
My husband tried the throat spray.
He tried the nose strips.
Gargling – hydrating – never sleeping on his back, etc.
Nothing helped.
At that point, he did a sleep study at a clinic (where they hook you up to sensors and measure your sleep for a full night) because he frequently stopped breathing and we were concerned about sleep apnea (which can seriously damage your heart).
If you want to try this, ask your doctor.
Finally, he decided to have throat surgery to alleviate the problem permanently.
This involves removing some tissue at the back of your throat & mouth, tightening some stuff, fixing the septum if it’s extremely blocked or crooked – it takes about 2 hours under general anesthetic and is often covered by health insurance.
He was very sore for 2 days – pain-free within a week.
And it WORKED. (!!!)
It sounds like a big deal and in some ways it is.
But if literally NOTHING else works, just know that this option is still available to you.
So hang in there – there’s still hope that you can put all this behind you some day.
My folks slept in separate bedrooms for my entire life because, like your husband, my dad snored at about 100 decibels. You do what you have to.